44,683 Words Left
Watching the tweets come in one after another.
600 words,10,000 and even 20 thousand words!
I check on my NaNoWriMo buddies ….the same.
The speed of which everyone is writing….so fast. From afar it seems like each 1,000 word threshold is filled with a secure plot and eloquent language to follow. Watching the counts come in, I’m not wondering what the story is about but what is going through the mind of the author as he/she types. Besides the obvious… your story. What are you thinking about as you go through your process of writing?
For me it is a combination of a few things:
Self doubt like: “Boy that was a bad sentance….What am I six years old?” to “He would never say that, its not part of his character”
But mostly its a stream of consciousness, one of thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions. All in the mind of my character, my main character- the hero embarking on his journey. I feel like I’m just along for the ride.
Now I have to pull back from the police station he works in, stop thinking about the weight of his vest on his chest as he sits waiting for role call. I stop listening to the jokes he cracks with his fellow Police Officers.
I stop to look at the word count below my screen. 1,800 down another 44,683 to go…assuming that’s where my story ends.
I’m beyond new at writing …creative writing that is. I’ve written for years as a grant writer but this is very different. As a first time writer with no real “Schooling” I know the 1800 words I just spewed out …..you know, the same ones that are now staring blankly at me, lifeless- SUCK…..bad.
I joined National Novel Writing Month to help me get through a first full draft of my novel. Knowing the daily word count goal would force me to stop going back and correcting and rewording my sentences. Stop me from picking up thesaurus to find a better word for ‘stubborn’. Frankly I did it so I wouldn’t re-read my paragraphs 10 times and more fixing and mending my language.
Well it’s helping, but it is also creating a new level of stress for me. It is leaving me to wonder what my ‘final’ page will look like. Gibberish perhaps? Will I have to rewrite it again? Most likely.
In the end I don’t care. I care more about my story, the lives I’m watching within the novel. I have to care more about the prospect that I just may have a few sentences out of many that maybe good enough to stay…..
Here’s to a Shitty First Draft! Rock on NaNoWriMo!!